Kiana_00541 long weeks of pregnancy, 3 painful days of labour, 3 excruciating hours of hard pushing, 2 mothers in the birthing room, 1 crazy husband, many puffs of laughing gas, 1 epidural, an IV drip, a catheter, 1 trip to the OR, forceps, an epesiotomy, and 2 lacerations, and 45 minutes of being sewn back together again…all worth it for this precious little angel.  I hope she appreciates what I had to endure!
The good news is that I managed to survive the whole ordeal without murdering either my mother, Allan's mother,  nor my husband…I was surprisingly calm through the whole process. 
Here's the breakdown:
Friday June 2 – my contractions start.  They're not as painful as I imagined they should be, so I pretty much ignore them and only mentioned them to "the moms" (who've been eagerly awaiting the arrival of their first grand-daughter & making me a nutcase by following me everywhere in the meantime) by chance as they cleaned my house from top to bottom.  At this point they're an hour apart and feel like mild menstrual cramps.  We wait all day for them to speed up & intensify…end up watching 6 episodes of 24 in one sitting…still no baby.
Saturday June 3 – my contractions are now 20 minutes apart…still not so painful.  The moms & the husband are totally on edge, watching my every move & jumping at my every "ooohhh".  My sister decides to fly into town from Vancouver to join the "waiters".  We end up driving around Victoria visiting open houses just for fun, and even stop by the Oak Bay Tea Party for some roast beef sandwiches as we wait for me to pop.  By evening, the contractions are 7 – 10 minutes apart, a bit irregular, and slightly more painful than before.  They are now full on cramps.  Allan is now jumpy and asking if we should head to the hospital every time I have another contraction.  I finally agree to let him call the doctor, more for his own ease of mind rather than my actual need for medical advice.  The doctor says to go to bed…figures.  Allan is not pleased, and makes sure the doctor knows it.  The doctor says if the contractions are the same by morning, come into the hospital at 9am.
Sunday June 4 – contractions are still the same.  This has to be the longest Early Labour phase ever!!!  9:00am we head off to the hospital to see the doctor.  After an examination of my cervix & a non-stress test on the baby, I'm sent back home to wait it out even more.  I'm advised to not return until my contractions are so bad that I want to kill my husband???  Does it really get that bad?  I'm only 2 cm dilated and the baby is not stressed.  Maybe the baby doesn't get it…her daddy & grandmothers are STRESSED and in turn are making me crazy!  She needs to get out.
Monday June 5 – 1:00am – The moms & Allan have been timing my contractions all this time.  They're now 5 minutes apart, but the pain is still tolerable (though I can't talk through them any more…think BAD cramps) and my water has not broken.  If left up to me, I would've just stayed in bed & gone back to sleep, but Allan & the moms insist it's time to go to the hospital.  When examined at the hospital, the nurse looked shocked & told me that I was 8 cm dilated. 
"Why didn't you come in sooner?" she had the nerve to ask!  Maybe because they kept sending me back home???  DUH!
The nurse calls the doctor and gives me laughing gas to help me breathe through the contractions.  Gas is good…especially since the pain is now not so tolerable…ok, make it stop.  They offer me an epidural so that I can sleep for a few hours before I need to start pushing.  I think about my baby's fat cheeks and agree to take the drugs.  I sleep until 7am.
7:00am – I wake up & am examined again.  The epidural has slowed down my contractions so I'm still at 8cm…great.  I'm given oxytocin to speed the contractions back up, by 9am I'm told I can start pushing. 
9:00am – PUSH!  PUSH!  PUSH!  I've never felt so constipated in my life!  I keep muttering to the nurses that I really have to poo, they tell me that's the baby.  I try pushing in every position imaginable…why isn't this baby out by now???  I'm now eyeing the clock, very aware that if this baby doesn't come out in 15 hours, I'd be having a 666 baby & would have to change her name to Demona!  Kiana, please come out on the 5th so you don't have horns!
11:30am – The doctor decides to call in the OB to check on me.  I've been pushing for 2.5 hours and still no baby.  She really is a stubborn child.  They are now thinking that she might be too big to fit through my pelvis…they tell me this now after I've been pushing all this time???  Why torture me?  Why?  Why did I eat all that cake? *sigh*  The OB comes in & examines me.  I have 2 options he says: c-section, or forceps.  If I choose forceps, they'll prep me for a c-section anyway just in case.  I opt for forceps.
12:00pm – I'm prepped for the OR, they jack up my drugs, I can no longer move my legs at all & when I poke them, they feel like they're not attached to my body!  It's the weirdest feeling.  Once in the OR, they move me to a narrow table/bed & put my feet up in stirrups high above my knees.  I've never been in such an undesireable position ever…and of course the resident, OB, and scrub nurse would all be male and all staring directly at my crotch!  Lovely.  Good thing I'm on drugs.  My loving husband is beside me, filming the whole process.  I'm just relieved they'll get Kiana out before 666.
12:38pm – Kiana Gabrielle Pantoja Chan is born!  7lbs & 12ozs, 20" long.  Fat baby.  They put her on my stomach & I'm in awe…I look over at Allan beside me & he's…shaking???  Oh no.  As usual, this experience can't be about me…Allan has to have some part in the drama, so he has an anxiety attack.  His hands freeze into the claw position and his breathing becomes rapid & irregular.  He's gonna faint.  The nurse & one of the doctors takes the video camera out of his hand for fear he'll drop it.  They put a cold compress on his head & tell him to take deep breaths, then practically carry him out of the OR cuz he can't walk on his own.  He's told to sit on a chair outside the OR & they get my mom to sit with him & make sure he's ok.  Meanwhile I'm still on the table being stitched up, Kiana is having her vitals checked & is being cleaned up by the nurses.  Drama King doesn't come back into the OR for 45 minutes.  By then, I'm stitched up & holding a cleaner Kiana in my arms.  Proud daddy didn't even get to cut her cord or anything because he was too busy having a fainting spell! 
Kiana Gabrielle Pantoja Chan – welcome to the world you diva you! 
The video of the birth is hilarious & is a must see!  For photos, go to http://thechans.shutterfly.com/